How to Manage Separation Anxiety During Early Years
Starting nursery is a big step - for children and parents. It’s completely normal for little ones to feel nervous or unsure when they’re first away from you.
Separation anxiety is a very common part of early childhood development, and with a bit of support, patience and routine, most children settle beautifully into nursery life.
At My Ohana, we’re here to help you navigate this transition with confidence and calm - because when children feel secure, they thrive.
What is Separation Anxiety?
Separation anxiety occurs when children realise they’re apart from their primary caregiver. It can show up as clinginess, tears at drop-off, or reluctance to join in new activities. This doesn’t mean something is wrong - it’s a sign they care deeply and are forming strong attachments.
Most children experience this at various stages, especially when routines change or they begin nursery. As they learn that you always come back, their confidence grows - and so does yours.
Top Tips to Manage Seperation Anxiety
1. Talk About Nursery in a Positive Way
Chat about nursery in simple, happy terms. Mention the fun things they’ll do - stories, songs, friends and play-times. This builds positive expectations before the first day arrives.
Pro tip: Role-play a nursery drop-off at home with a favourite teddy - this makes the experience feel familiar.
2. Create a Consistent Morning Routine
Children feel safer with predictability. A gentle ritual - like a special wave, quick hug, favourite song on the way in or a simple “See you later, alligator!” - helps them know what comes next, every day.
Keeping the same routine makes the whole process smoother for both of you.
3. Keep Goodbyes Short, Calm & Confident
It might feel tempting to stay longer, but brief and positive goodbyes help children settle quicker, especially when accompanied by confident reassurance.
This sends the message: “You’re safe, you’re cared for - and I’ll be back.”
4. Introduce Comfort Objects
A small transitional item - a favourite toy, blanket or even a family photo - can act as a bridge between home and nursery. Knowing they have something familiar gives extra reassurance.
Ask your nursery team if your child can keep their comfort item with them throughout the day.
5. Practise Short Separations Beforehand
Before the official nursery start, spend short, supervised time apart at home or with a trusted caregiver. This helps children understand that separation is temporary, and that you always return.
These small practice separations build confidence and independence.
Settling in Sessions at My Ohana
At My Ohana, we know that starting nursery is a big milestone. Our settling-in sessions are designed to make that transition as gentle and reassuring as possible for both you and your child.
We offer settling-in sessions for all children joining us, helping your child grow in confidence, feel secure in their new surroundings and build positive relationships from the very start. Just as importantly, they give you peace of mind, so you feel happy and confident when it’s time to leave your child with us.
Every family is different, which is why our setting manager will work with you to agree the best settling-in process for you and your child. Whether your child needs a little extra time or settles quickly, we’ll move at a pace that feels right for your family.
During settling-in sessions, your child will spend time with their key worker, allowing them to begin building a strong bond and become familiar with a friendly, trusted face. These early connections play a vital role in easing separation anxiety and supporting emotional wellbeing during the early years.
We’ll also take time to talk with you about your child’s routine, needs and interests, ensuring we provide the right care, comfort and support from day one. By working closely together, we create a calm, nurturing environment where children feel safe, valued and ready to thrive.
Our settling-in sessions allow your child to:
Get familiar with the space and people
Feel secure at their own pace
Build relationships with their key person
Experience nursery routines bit by bit
These short visits help little ones feel comfortable, safe and excited about their nursery days ahead. Working together with you and your child, we aim for a gentle transition that supports emotional wellbeing.
Remember, every child settles at their own pace, and that’s perfectly okay.
Ready to Support Your Child’s Nursery Journey?
Book a nursery tour today to see how we support children and families through settling in - and find the right My Ohana nursery near you.
Whether you’re planning a first visit or looking for settling-in options, we’re here to help.
Find a nursery near you & book a tour today! Your child’s big adventure starts with a gentle first step.
Separation Anxiety: FAQs
What are the signs of separation anxiety in babies and young children?
Separation anxiety can look different for every child, but common signs include crying or distress when a parent leaves, clinginess, refusing to engage in activities, changes in sleep, or wanting extra reassurance. Some children may also become quieter than usual or struggle with transitions. These reactions are completely normal and usually temporary.
Why does separation anxiety happen?
Separation anxiety happens when children begin to understand that parents and caregivers can leave - but don’t yet fully understand that they will always come back. It’s a healthy part of emotional development and shows that strong attachments have formed. Changes such as starting nursery, moving house, or changes in routine can sometimes make these feelings stronger.
What age does separation anxiety affect?
Separation anxiety commonly starts around 6–8 months, peaks between 10–18 months, and may reappear during toddlerhood - especially during big transitions like starting nursery. Some children may experience it again at different stages, but it usually eases as confidence and independence grow.
How can nursery practitioners help with separation anxiety?
Nursery practitioners play a key role in helping children feel safe and secure. This includes:
Building strong bonds through a dedicated key person
Offering reassurance and comfort at drop-off
Keeping routines consistent and predictable
Encouraging play and gentle participation
Working closely with parents to understand each child’s needs
At My Ohana, settling-in sessions and nurturing relationships help children feel confident and supported every step of the way.
How can parents help with separation anxiety?
Parents can support their child by:
Keeping goodbyes calm, positive and consistent
Talking positively about nursery
Practising short separations at home
Allowing a comfort item from home
Trusting the nursery team and showing confidence
Children take emotional cues from adults - when you feel reassured, they’re more likely to feel reassured too.
When should I get help for separation anxiety?
While separation anxiety is very common, it’s worth seeking extra support if distress feels intense, lasts for several weeks without improvement, or is affecting your child’s wellbeing at home and nursery. Your nursery team can offer guidance and reassurance, and your health visitor or GP can also provide support if needed.
Separation anxiety during the early years is a completely natural part of growing up.
While nursery drop-offs can feel emotional at first, with the right support, consistency and reassurance, children quickly build confidence and begin to enjoy their time away from home. Every smile at pick-up, every settled morning and every new friendship is a sign that your child is learning, thriving and feeling secure.
At My Ohana, we understand that managing separation anxiety is just as much about supporting parents as it is about supporting children. Our nurturing settling-in sessions, experienced nursery practitioners and calm, caring routines are designed to make nursery drop-offs easier - helping children feel safe, happy and ready to explore.
If you’re preparing for nursery or currently navigating separation anxiety, you’re not alone. We’re here to guide you every step of the way.
Book a nursery tour today to see how we support children through separation anxiety in the early years, or find a My Ohana nursery near you and take the first step towards a confident, positive nursery experience for your child.
